谦虚自信的艺术

按:这是第三篇译文。在翻译过程中,能够学到一些东西。比如,许多中文都不曾留心的说法和含义,翻译 中要查清楚来龙去脉,也因此获得信息。翻译的初衷是,学习英语表达,通过反复接触英文表达,掌握词汇用法和文法。但目前来看,英译汉主要还是对汉语表达的 提高。要敏感于英文的用法,恐怕还是要英文写作,汉语译英文,或者英文创作。文以载道,语言的作用是传递信息,体现文化和理念。从此文可以看出西方人为人 处事,人际交往的基本理念和态度,这点在与美国人的接触中能够感受到。但仅有理念不够,具体的交流方式和表达需要持久学习和反复操练。To learn in-haul and take practices more and more.

原版英文地址:http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/the-art-of-humble-confidence.html

The Art of Humble Confidence

By Scott Young

To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.

表现出自信,还是不自信,这是个问题。对自信话题的讨论,不清楚别人怎么看,我倒是有点糊涂了。是应该表现得更自信一点还是更谦虚一点呢?我想应该二者兼而有之问题是该在什么时候表现自信,什么时候表现得谦虚。

East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing

东方&西方-自信,文化的体现

In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate(何种主题的辩论,争论:something debate) is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:

典型的西方国家,自信与否的辩论结果是很显然的-自信些更好。英雄主人公总是桀骜不逊,放荡不羁,先发制人的形象(想起Die HardJohn McClane,但他是警察硬汉)。我想还是先来看看下面的对话为好,待会儿再谈其他。

Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo - “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty
(英文对话中常用程度副词,要习惯用)good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
[He does]
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”

特工史密斯-我们愿意去掉你资料档案中的污点,让你的人生重新开始。但需要你的合作,帮助我们抓到那个最有名的恐怖分子,就是这个条件来交换你的清白人生。

Neo-好啊,听起来不错的交易。但我还有个更好的,给你这个手指怎么样。【切下自己的手指】

Neo-……你让我打电话。

In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.

东方国家,对此看法经常是非常不同的。长者不该被解雇而要得到尊敬。“guru”这个词是老师的意思,在达摩哲学体系里,可以不严格的理解为责任的意思,大师的说法就是从这儿来的。东方文化中,谦虚尊重比自信更重要。

These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending(混合使用后面的宾语或者将宾语混合) the two: becoming somewhat(程度副词,修饰形容词,学会习惯使用) humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.(学会习惯使用to be/do句型,前面可加疑问副词)。

这都是一概而论,但它追溯显示出信心辩论是如何深深融入文化中的。极端的两种观点,或一味自信或一味谦虚都会误导人。应该代之以二者折中:总是有些谦虚而又不乏自信。问题是何时自信,何时谦虚呢。

Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It

谦虚与自信-适时而用

I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer(同辈人,同学,同僚,玩伴等周边的平等人,常用) relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.

这里引入另一个显而易见的概论。实质上几乎每一个关系,都符合两种主要原型的一种,或是主人或是学生。即使在同僚中这种主从关系也是经常转换,几乎没有不属于这其中一种关系的。

In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.

作为主要角色,你展示自信得到你想要的。演说者,领导者或是施诱者,都具有主要角色的优势,控制和影响力。

The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.

次要角色恰恰相反,故意表现出谦虚的一面。次要角色的学生,信徒或追随者也有优势,可以学到很多并且更容易取信于别人。

Know When to Shut Up and Learn

何时该闭嘴学习

If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.

如果你是典型的西方人,可能已经想过更喜欢哪一个角色。身为领导者,是伟大的,得到尊重和更高的地位,尤其是你有更大的行使权力。

But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:

  • You learn more.
  • Smooths relationships.
  • Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.

但问题是你不能也不该总是领导者的角色。试着想想如果这个角色没有技能,资源或者地位来支撑,是不是会有冲突的地方。更重要的是,很多时候你需要故意表现出谦逊。充当次要角色有如下好处:

  • 你了解更多。
  • 建立更顺畅关系。
  • 让他人更愿意伸出援手。

Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.

知道何时采取谦逊路线对你有利。谦逊而不是傲慢更容易获得导师的指导和建议。小小的牺牲自我,能开拓学习的潜力,学到很多东西。

Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn

自信说服,谦虚学习

In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.

实际上几乎没有关系可以清晰的界定主从角色。在人们的接触中,各专长领域有重叠相交之处。对一个不写博客的人我可能是一个博客专家,但他是金融专家。在每一领域都担任着不同的角色。

Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?

在接触交往之前问问自己目的是什么。是想学习还是说服?

Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.

说服需要自信。销售,释放教授或领导需要展示与你所传递信息匹配的自信。但学习需要谦逊。如果你总是与教授,导师或者雇员争论,你学不到任何东西。加一剂谦虚,暂时作学生带给你学习的机会。

Persuade Less, Learn More

少说服,多学习

Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.

劝说有立竿见影的效果,学习却是长途旅行。找机会去学习,而不是一味自以为是的交流。也许游说别人相信你,在一定程度上会满足你,但它不是持久的。然而,学习是一项长期投资。

Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.

与人交往中,当我意识到他们拥有我想要了结的技术时,在那一领域,我会小心的表现出谦虚的态度。即便我不能立刻同意,也会认真听取他们的观点和反馈。这就避免了自己学习,不断反复摸索而浪费时间。

Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills

自信/谦虚不能代替交流技能

This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.

不同目的下,选择自信和谦虚的方法不能替代交流技能。如果别人认为你是让人讨厌的爱发牢骚的人,谦虚也不会有人喜欢你;如果整个房间的人都认为你是自大的笨蛋,自信也不会有人认为你睿智。知道怎样运用这两中品质需要练习。

The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.

当你进入下一次的交往时,要问问自己你为什么而来。是说服还是学习?然后你会采取完全不同的策略以取得更好的结果。

About these ads

发表评论

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / 更改 )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / 更改 )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / 更改 )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / 更改 )

Connecting to %s

关注

每发布一篇新博文的同时向您的邮箱发送备份。

%d bloggers like this: