按：这是第三篇译文。在翻译过程中，能够学到一些东西。比如，许多中文都不曾留心的说法和含义，翻译 中要查清楚来龙去脉，也因此获得信息。翻译的初衷是，学习英语表达，通过反复接触英文表达，掌握词汇用法和文法。但目前来看，英译汉主要还是对汉语表达的 提高。要敏感于英文的用法，恐怕还是要英文写作，汉语译英文，或者英文创作。文以载道，语言的作用是传递信息，体现文化和理念。从此文可以看出西方人为人 处事，人际交往的基本理念和态度，这点在与美国人的接触中能够感受到。但仅有理念不够，具体的交流方式和表达需要持久学习和反复操练。To learn in-haul and take practices more and more.
The Art of Humble Confidence
By Scott Young
To be confident or not to be confident, that is the question. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been a bit confused about all this discussion about the subject of confidence. Do you really need to be more confident or should you try to be more humble? I think the answer is both – you just have to know where to use it.
East VS West – Confidence, It’s a Cultural Thing
In typical Western countries, the answer to the confidence debate(何种主题的辩论，争论：something debate) is obvious – more is better. Our heros are rebellious, independent and shoot first, ask questions later. I think this snippet of dialog from The Matrix sums it up best:
典型的西方国家，自信与否的辩论结果是很显然的－自信些更好。英雄主人公总是桀骜不逊，放荡不羁，先发制人的形象（想起Die Hard中John McClane，但他是警察硬汉）。我想还是先来看看下面的对话为好，待会儿再谈其他。
Agent Smith – “We’re willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we’re asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.”
Neo – “Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty（英文对话中常用程度副词，要习惯用）good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger”
Neo -“ …and you give me my phone call.”
In Eastern countries, the tone is often considerably different. Elders are supposed to be revered not dismissed. The words ‘guru,’ meaning a teacher, and the philosophy of dharma, loosely translated to mean ‘duty,’ come from here. In Eastern cultures humility and respect are more important than confidence.
These perspectives are generalizations, but it shows how the confidence debate goes back deep into our culture. I think that both extremes of pure confidence or pure humility are misguided. Instead of rectifying this situation by simply blending（混合使用后面的宾语或者将宾语混合） the two: becoming somewhat（程度副词，修饰形容词，学会习惯使用） humble, somewhat confident all the time, I believe the answer is to know when to be confident and when to be humble.（学会习惯使用to be/do句型，前面可加疑问副词）。
Humble Confidence – Know When to Use It
I’m going to make another broad generalization. I believe that virtually every relationship you are going to have is going to fit into one of two major archetypes, either master or student. In peer（同辈人，同学，同僚，玩伴等周边的平等人，常用） relationships this master/student role may switch frequently, but it is extremely rare that the relationship never leans to one side.
In the master role, you are displaying confidence to get what you want. This is public speaker, leader or seducer. Being the master has advantages. You have more control and ability to influence from this role.
The student role is the opposite. You are intentionally displaying humility. This is the student, disciple or follower. Being the student has advantages too. You can learn a lot more in this role and are more likely to win the trust of the other person.
Know When to Shut Up and Learn
If you are a typical Westerner, you are probably already thinking about which role you prefer. Being the leader is great. You get respect and a higher status. Most of all you get a greater degree of control.
But the problem is that you can’t and shouldn’t always try to be the leader. Trying to assume that role without the skills, resources or status to back it up will lead to conflict. More importantly, there are many times when you purposely want to display humility. Some of the benefits to the student role include:
- You learn more.
- Smooths relationships.
- Makes others more willing to lend a helping hand.
Knowing when taking the humble route is to your advantage. It is far easier to get mentors and advisors if you use humility rather than arrogance. A small sacrifice to your ego can open up the potential to learn a lot.
Confidence to Persuade, Humility to Learn
In reality almost no relationship is as clearly defined as master/student. Within our connections, people have overlapping areas of expertise. I might be an expert in blogging to a non-blogger, but they might be an expert in finance. In each area there are different roles to take.
Before any interaction ask yourself what the purpose is. Are you trying to learn or persuade?
Persuasion requires confidence. If you are trying to sell, instruct or lead you need to display the confidence to match your message. But learning requires humility. You won’t learn anything if you are constantly arguing with your professors, mentors or employers. Taking a dose of humility and temporarily making yourself a student gives you the opportunity to absorb.
Persuade Less, Learn More
Persuasion is great for immediate effect, but learning matters over the long-haul. Instead of washing over all your communication with pure confidence, look for opportunities to learn. Persuading someone to follow you may give you an immediate boost of satisfaction, but it doesn’t last. Learning, however, is an investment for the future.
Whenever I make a connection with someone and realize they have a skill or understanding I want, I am careful to express humility in that area. That means listening with what they say even if I don’t immediately agree and being patient with their response. This method often drastically cuts down the time I need to spend on trial and error to learn by myself.
Confidence/Humility Doesn’t Replace Communication Skills
This approach of selectively using confidence and humility for different purposes doesn’t replace communication skills. Humility isn’t going to work if the other person thinks you’re an irritating whiner. Confidence won’t work if the entire room thinks you are an arrogant jerk. Knowing how to display these two qualities takes practice.
The next time you are about to enter into an interaction ask yourself why you are doing it. Are you trying to persuade or learn? Depending on which you can take a completely different tact for far better results.